As If It's Your Last
by fullmetalscully
Summary: a collection of havolina oneshots from either prompts or ideas that come to me
1. circus au

**AN: thank you aoife for the prompt on tumblr! trying something new with a little bit of havolina**

**there might be more oneshots in the future, there might not be idk yet but i do love those two**

**and l****et's be real, only armstrong would have the flair to pull off being an amazing ringmaster of a circus**

* * *

_**circus au / proposal**_

Rebecca watched from the side lines as the Ringmaster announced her act. The trapeze artist bounced on the balls of her feet for a moment, letting out a long, slow breath to relax herself. This was closing night and they were expecting a big show. Armstrong had informed her there were scouts in the audience specifically looking at the acrobats and the talent present here tonight. If she entered their good graces, then she could possibly find herself with a scholarship to a dance school. She could become _more_ than a trapeze artist in an airy tent. She could be performing to sold out concert venues.

She was incredibly thankful to Armstrong and all that he had done for her over the last year. He had taken her in when she was at her lowest and built her back up again. Food and a bed had been all she asked for and Rebecca had found so much more. Friends now surrounded her, colleagues supported her and wanted Rebecca to become the best person she could be. Not to mention a certain blonde-haired colleague she spied across the ring, watching her.

Letting out a final breath, she finally felt a calm wash over her. Jean watched every one of her performances and to be perfectly honest, felt like her good luck charm. If the scouts did provide an offer, she knew she wouldn't want to leave Jean behind. His easy grin had won her over immediately and the way he looked at her, touched her… Rebecca shivered.

She shot Jean a quick grin before she walked out behind the curtain and into the spotlight. Her ten minutes to stun her audience was here. She better make it count.

* * *

Jean Havoc watched as Rebecca astounded her audience. He too was rapt by her performance, the same feeling of pride swelling within him as he watched night after night, never missing her show. Rebecca Catalina never failed to deliver, and Jean knew she would go far.

An uncomfortable feeling tightened in his gut, reminding him that if the scouts here tonight liked what they saw, she'd be gone on the next train out of Central. Squashing down the feeling, he pushed off the support post he had been leaning on as he watched from behind the curtain. It wasn't like him, but Jean shoved his hands in the pockets of his overalls and walked away from the ring.

He told himself that if he didn't watch her, he wouldn't fall under her spell. Again.

He had never told her how she felt. They had fooled around, sure, but it hadn't been anything serious. On the road you really got to know the people you travelled with. Rebecca was a terrible flirt, but only really showed him that side of her, and Jean was helpless to return her advances. Not to mention hopeless, when it came to her. Hopelessly in love.

Many performers came and went, but Jean had been with the circus since day one. He was the Animal Wrangler, in charge of the horses. They had six in total and they were his pride and joy. Rebecca had breezed into his life two years after he joined and was still with Armstrong's circus, a year later. Many didn't stick around for longer than a few months and it left Jean wondering why she was still here.

The roar of the audience reached him outside the tent. The air was cool as he began to move hay for the horses that would be returning shortly. He had been topping up the trough with fresh water when he heard her call his name.

"Jean!" she shouted, smile bright. Rebecca ran over to him and threw her arms around his neck. Too surprised to do anything but catch her, Jean was stunned as she laughed happily, arms squeezing him tightly in her happiness. "They loved me," she told him before pulling away, eyes dancing with excitement. "They loved me so much! I got two offers to head west to Creta and study at a dance school! Can you believe it?" she laughed.

His stomach plummeted to the floor. The hands on her waist slipped lower in his shock, coming to reside on her hips. Of course, he tried to put on a brave face and be happy for her because this was what she had dreamed of all her life.

"Congratulations, Rebecca," he managed to get out, wrapping his arms around her once more. She froze for a second, before her hands returned to his back. If this was the last time he was going to hold her then he wanted to savour it.

Jean didn't want her to go.

He would miss the excitement she brought, the fresh, new ideas she pitched to Armstrong. Rebecca Catalina had been a breath of fresh air for all of them, her stubbornness and honesty a welcome change.

"You're coming with me, right?" she asked, pulling back to meet his eye. Her hands rested on his biceps, her no-nonsense gaze eyeing him critically.

"Wh – What?" he stuttered. Rebecca had never been afraid to voice her true feelings, unlike him.

"Well, if I'm going you _have_ to come with me. I'm not leaving without you," she added, as if it was obvious.

"Rebecca… I… _What_?"

She shrugged. "If you're not coming then I'm not going to accept the offer."

"This has been your _dream_ for years –"

"Years pass," she interrupted. "And you find new dreams." Her gaze met his and Jean felt his stomach tighten, but it wasn't unpleasant this time. His skin broke out in gooseflesh, anticipation coursing through him. This… This couldn't be happening, right? Rebecca had never told Jean how she really felt, and vice versa. For someone who broadcasted how she really felt about almost every situation, Rebecca had hidden those from him during their time together.

Well, he supposed, she was doing it now. _When it mattered_, his brain thought.

"Are you saying…?" he asked in disbelief.

Rebecca nodded. "Where you go, I follow. It's as simple as that."

"Are you sure?" The hands on her waist tightened, wanting to hold her in front of him even if she said no.

"Of course." The certainty in her tone left him reeling. "I _do_ love you, I don't know if you've noticed," she grinned. "And to be honest I don't want to live my life with anyone else. Lightly, she punched his shoulder. "You're my good luck charm. What kind of performer would I be without you?"

"Are you proposing to me?" he asked, a slow smirk spreading across his face.

"It depends on your answer," she retorted with a wink. Rebecca laughed as Jean pulled her against his body, silencing her with his kiss.

* * *

**i love havoc but he is hopeless when it comes to women we been knew**


	2. teachers au

**AN: ok so flourchildwrites sent me this prompt with the option of doing it for royai or havolina and i couldn't not do it for both so…. here you go! hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

_**teachers au / green-eyed epiphany **_

"He's so cute though," Riza replied to Rebecca's snort. They were currently in the staff room enjoying a cup of tea in between classes, which just so happened to overlook the physical education department. The summer sun beat down on the poor students who had to run laps around the running track on the grass. "_And_ buff."

What they were really looking at was the P.E. teacher, Jean Havoc. The usual black hoodie he wore was off, revealing a tight, grey, sports t-shirt which showed off his well-defined arms and shoulders _perfectly_.

"Look," Riza gestured as Jean bent over to pick up his whistle that had fallen from his pocket. "He's sculpted like a Dorito. Who wouldn't want a piece of that?" She sighed quietly to herself, causing Rebecca to stiffen slightly.

"Would you?" she asked, trying to act casual. Trying, being the operative word.

"Oh, yeah," Riza replied enthusiastically. "I mean… _Look_ at him. Mustang looks good, but he has nothing on Jean Havoc."

Rebecca frowned. Riza had _just_ been on a date with Mustang two days ago, and now she was going after Jean as well? She was her nearest and dearest friend, but Rebecca wasn't particularly happy about that. Riza knew Rebecca had been interested in Jean for a while, but they had never moved past friends… Well, friends who fooled around once or twice. Those nights were Rebecca's favourite. But to have Riza to blatantly reveal her interest in Jean? Something was fishy here, but Rebecca was becoming too irritated to try and figure out what it was.

"You just went on a date with Mustang," she reminded Riza, who shrugged.

"I know. It was just a date though. I think I might try my luck with Jean instead."

Rebecca felt her irritation grow. What was she talking about? Riza never normally acted like this. She _knew_ Rebecca liked him and –

Rebecca's eyes widened. Riza's smile grew on her face as she watched realisation dawn on Rebecca's face. The knowing look on her face was very telling. "Did you just…!" Rebecca exclaimed. Riza grinned back at her. "Did you try to make me jealous so I would realise… that?"

"It worked, didn't it?" Riza winked, taking a sip of her tea.

"Well, yeah, but… Oh my god," Rebecca replied, feeling the colour drain from her face. It scrunched up in annoyance as she heard Riza laughing. "Don't laugh at my misfortune!"

"I wouldn't call it misfortune at all, Becca. He's such a nice guy and a good friend of mine. I have it on good authority that he _likes_ you," Riza replied, waggling her eyebrows.

_Jeez, first her date with Mustang and now she's trying to set me up with Jean. The woman is acting like frickin' cupid lately._

"I… I don't know," Rebecca replied, turning to look back out the window. She had to admit, he looked _fine_ out there in the sun. Tanned skin was a good look on him, his well-defined arms and chest straining against hi t-shirt. Normally Rebecca wasn't a fan of guys who wore t-shirts that were a size too small for them, but Rebecca would make an exception for Jean. His blonde hair ruffled in the barely-there breeze, falling across his forehead. It must have been irritating him because Jean pushed it off his forehead. She'd loved to run her hands through that hair right now…

"Oh my god," Rebecca uttered, a familiar feeling pooling in her stomach.

Riza chuckled to herself. "Ask him. Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

Rebecca turned to her friend. "Did you do that?"

"Of course," Riza replied, as if was obvious. "You can't expect them to do it themselves. We'll die of old age before that happens."

"You're right there," Rebecca muttered. Jean liked to think he was a womanizer, but he was hopeless and as far as she was aware hadn't had a girlfriend in years.

Since he started here and working with her. It was a possibility… He might actually feel the same way as her.

"Just go for it," Riza pushed, standing to walk over to the sink to wash her mug. "Jean loves you. He's not going to say no."

"… Loves me?"

Riza winked. "Oh yeah, big time."

Rebecca was stunned. "How… How do you know that?"

"Because I've had to hear about it for years. So has Roy, and Maes, and Heymans, and Vato. Kain might have escaped it but only because the poor kid was too oblivious half the time to figure it out. We're all sick of his moping, to be honest."

"Really?" Wow. That was… unexpected. Riza's words "_you can't expect them to do it themselves_" rang in her ears, taking on a whole other meaning.

"He'll probably kill me for telling you, but I think I've done him a service."

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Rebecca exclaimed suddenly. She was thankful the room was empty because no doubt everyone would be getting an earful of her current situation. Not that it would be a change. They were all aware of Kimblee's suspension after almost blowing up a classroom during a chemistry experiment. This staff room had more secrets and gossip than the cliques of this school.

"I wanted to see if you would figure it out. Jean never lost hope, but you were intent on seeing other people and I could see it wearing on him." _Oh, shit._ She'd only done that to try and temporarily forget about Jean. To see if it was just a fleeting feeling or if it was something real.

It was definitely something real.

"Especially after last weekend," Riza continued. "So, we hatched a plan to try and push you two together finally. It's been interesting to watch it develop but for god's sake Becca, you're blind."

After a moment's pause, Rebecca wracking her brain for all her and Jean's interactions to try and determine if he had revealed himself at any point. There was the time she had a crisis after losing – replace losing with accidentally deleted – her marking notes on her computer and he stayed back an extra hour after school to help her recover it. Then, he dropped what he was doing to help her set up for an assembly in the hall.

She had been fretting all afternoon because she was due to give a speech to the female students about participation in sport and the janitor was dealing with two kid's who had puked in the hallway, so she didn't have anyone to help her set up. However, Rebecca still needed to organise her notes and run through her speech, as well as put out two hundred folding chairs. To say she had been stressed was an understatement. Jean had been passing by and, like the saint he was, offered his help. Rebecca thought he was just interested in the topic, never mind her. It was a real issue, and one he was genuinely interested in improving the statistic for, but it never occurred to Rebecca he was just happy to spend time with her and do her a favour. That stressful lunch hour had turned into a rather enjoyable one as he cracked jokes while they were unfolding chairs.

"I _am_ blind," Rebecca finally stated, realisation hitting her like a train.

"Told you."

"All right," she admonished. The P.E. class was coming to a close, the students tiredly trailing back into the building to get changed. Jean remained outside for a few moments longer, looking around the running track, contemplating something they weren't privy too. Rebecca watched as his shoulders rose and fell in a sigh before bending down to retrieve his hoodie from the grass. The way his muscles rippled under the cotton made her mouth water.

"Rebecca?"

"Huh?"

"You're drooling," Riza laughed.

"Shut up," she pouted, but a grin appeared on her face a second later.


	3. engagement ring

_**gifts | "is that an engagement ring?"**_

"Jean said he got me a present today," Rebecca revealed, eyes twinkling.

"That's lovely, Becca," Riza smiled, taking a sip of her tea. Rebecca was around at Riza's apartment for a girl's night and although she was drying to see what this gift was, Rebecca couldn't pass up a wine night with her best friend. Jean had been very hush hush and promised he'd tell her when she came home, ushering her rather quickly out the door.

That was suspicious enough as it was, but she let it slide because she hadn't seen Riza for a night like this in over a year because she'd been out in Ishval and Rebecca had missed her so much.

"Any idea what it is?" Riza asked. Rebecca opened her mouth, but she saw a knowing look flash across Riza's face.

"You know what it is, don't you?" Rebecca asked, narrowing her eyes at her friend.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Riza replied innocently, placing her wine glass on the table.

"You _do_ know what it is!" Rebecca cried. Damn. She could badger Jean into telling her anything but Riza was a firmly closed book. There was no _way_ she'd be able to get it out of her.

"I don't, honestly," Riza replied, her poker face on point.

"You won't tell me what it is, will you?"

"Even if I _did_ know, no, I wouldn't. I wouldn't ruin Havoc's surprise like that."

Excitement flipped in Rebecca's stomach. She could guess what it was. Rebecca had joined forces with Madame Christmas after the Promised Day, finally finding her true calling in life. Then, Jean had gone off to Ishval with Mustang and they'd only conversed over the phone and through letters for a year. He'd returned home and swept Rebecca into his arms, kissing her passionately right there at the train station. The promises he'd whispered in her ear the night before they left for the desert gave Rebecca a fairly good idea of what this present would be.

"Fine," Rebecca sighed, flopping back on the cushions. "I didn't expect you to tell me anyway."

"You're giving up awfully quick, aren't you?" Riza asked, an amused smirk on her face. "Normally you'd badger it out of me until I gave in."

"You never gave in," Rebecca muttered sullenly. "Anyway, I'm a changed woman."

"Has the Madame taught you some restraint?" Riza quipped.

"Something like that. More like someone else has taught me some restraint," she smiled wistfully, thinking of said person.

Riza nodded with a knowing look. "Havoc?"

Rebecca grinned. "Yeah."

* * *

The air was cool as Rebecca stepped out of the taxi in front of her apartment. She pulled her jacket tighter around her, giving the driver her payment with a smile and begun the walk up to her – no, _their_ – apartment. She grinned, knowing Havoc was inside waiting for her. She took the stairs two at a time.

Unlocking the door, she froze as she took in the scene before her. Their living room was candlelit, a soft orange glow filling the room. There were rose petals on the floor, a trail towards the centre of the room where Jean Havoc was standing with his hands in his sweatpants' pockets, grinning at her.

"Hey," he greeted softly.

"What's this?" she asked, heart rising into her throat. She knew what this was. She knew what was happening, but her brain couldn't comprehend it.

"Rebecca, ever since I met you, we've never had a dull moment. I adore that about you." She felt like she couldn't breathe. Excitement coursed through her entire being, but she was frozen on the spot. "You're like a whirlwind that pulls me along with you and I wouldn't change it for the world. Every day is an adventure and every time I wake up, I can't wait to see what excitement awaits me that day with you.

"This past year has been hell because I wasn't able to see you, hold you, or kiss you like I so desperately wanted to. It made me realise just how much I never want to be apart from you again.

"So…" He pulled a small black box out of his pocket and knelt on one knee, lifting the box in front of him. The case looked old with worn velvet in its corners.

Rebecca interrupted him by placing a hand up in front of him to stop. "Is that an engagement ring?" she squeaked, daring him to tell her otherwise, and not believing it herself.

"Rebecca Catalina?" Jean asked, face grinning. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes!" she screeched.

Jean slipped the ring on her finger and they both met in the middle, Jean rising from his crouch as they kissed to seal their engagement. After a few minutes of happy squeals, excitement, tears, and more kissing, the two finally found peace in each other's arms.

"Did Riza call ahead?" Rebecca asked, turning her face upwards to look at him after resting it on her fiancé's shoulder.

Jean chuckled. "She did. She was a co-conspirator. She, uh, actually helped me pick out the ring."

"Really?" Rebecca smiled. "When did you do it?" She was curious. He had barely left her side since he got back a week ago and there weren't very many jewellery shops selling rings like that out in Ishval.

"… Before I went to Ishval."

Rebecca froze in surprise. "_That long_?" she exclaimed.

Jean nodded. "I kept it in my pocket to remind myself of what was waiting for me at home and why I had to keep on top of shit and get things done."

"Jean…" she smiled, touched. Rebecca placed her head against his shoulder, squeezing him in a hug. "That's so sweet."

"Thanks," he chuckled.

Rebecca pulled away to meet his gaze. "Can I go and tell everyone?" she asked, excitedly.

Jean laughed, kissing her on the nose. "Of course."

Rebecca dove for the phone. "Riza!" she screeched excitedly into the phone, no doubt breaking her friend's eardrum. "Guess what!"


	4. stolen kisses

_**closet / stolen kisses**_

It wasn't the smartest idea he'd ever had but she'd started this in the cafeteria with her suggestive looks and comments, and Jean wasn't going to stop it now. The woman was ferocious, attacking his lips with her own. He wouldn't have been able to stop her if he tried.

"Did you lock the door?" Rebecca asked him breathily. Oh god… When she spoke like that, he almost lost it every time. He didn't even reply to her question. He couldn't. Instead, he crashed his lips against her again with renewed vigour. Her laugh was music to his ears, melodic and beautiful. Jean pulled away, surprised.

"What?" he asked dumbly. Her eyes were sparkling with amusement, her hair tousled after he'd buried his hands in her ponytail. His gaze dropped down to her swollen lips. They were perfect, begging to be kissed again…

"Did you lock the door?" she murmured, inching closer to his lips again. Jean tried to close the gap, but she wouldn't let him, a light chuckle leaving her.

"I don't know, and I don't care." A groan left Rebecca as Jean's lips finally made contact. He drew her close by burying his hands in her hair, tugging the strands out of the bobble holding them all together.

He was completely addicted to everything about her. He didn't care about the damn door to the supply closet, but damn anyone who tried to interrupt them in this stolen moment.


	5. melt

_**melt**_

"Quick!" Rebecca urged, but there was amusement in her tone. "Get it inside or it will melt!"

"Jesus, woman. Give me a chance," Jean replied, huffing up the stairs. God, why did she need to buy so much _stuff_ every time she went shopping? Damn lift was broken in her apartment building as well and _he_ was the sad sap who offered to carry everything up the stairs for her. Not that he minded in the slightest, most of the time, but it was a sweltering hot day and lugging all her bags up the stairs wasn't an easy feat.

"Hurry up," she replied with a roll of her eyes. "And stop being such a baby."

"I'm not being a baby," he pouted petulantly, then grinned when he heard her laugh.

Jean dropped the bags inside her apartment with a relieved huff. Rebecca dove for the ice cream and put the two tubs in her freezer right away.

"I'd never forgive you if you let my ice cream go to ruin," she stated, flopping down on her couch to join him. Jean wrapped his arms around her tightly, drawing her against his chest.

"It's ice cream. It cost about two hundred cenz. I'd go out and get you more."

"The point still stands," she replied firmly. "I'd melt _you_ if you ever let that happen," she joked.

"Oh yeah? Well, I really will melt on the spot if you make me go back out in that heat." For effect, he puffed air upwards out of his mouth to shift his fringe.

"Hmm, I could arrange that for you." Rebecca shifted around so she was resting on her side, her hand splayed across her chest, her fingers gently playing with the collar of his t-shirt. Jean rose an eyebrow at her, asking her wordlessly to elaborate. "_I_ could make you melt…" Her grin was seductive as she cast her eyes up at him through her eyelashes.

"Hm, I bet I could make you melt too," he smirked, gently placing his thumb and forefinger underneath her chin. He _knew_ he could, just with his fingers alone. He made a point to glance down at them, then back up to her face. Rebecca's expression turned hungry in an instant, catching onto his meaning.

"Challenge accepted," she murmured, pressing her lips against his, hard.


	6. sunset

_**sunset**_

"I love this spot," Rebecca admitted dreamily, staring out across the city below them. East City had some of the most beautiful sunsets Jean had ever seen, except nowadays, he barely caught sight of them.

The reason why, was the woman next to him. When they came to visit his family, she always insisted on climbing the hill behind his parent's house to watch the sunset. So, they did, and Jean loved every minute of it. Except, he was so caught up in the way the fading sunlight caught her face, he never even watched the sunset. He could never take his eyes off her.

Like a ritual, Rebecca would gaze out at the sky with a small smile on her face, simply enjoying the sight. Then, she'd close her eyes and let the last of the day's light and heat wash over her, taking deep and even breaths. Jean was dumbstruck every time and felt incredibly blessed to be able to see her like this. Peaceful. Serene. Absolutely stunning.

"Yeah, it's beautiful," Jean replied, except he wasn't looking at the sky.

Rebecca opened her eyes and noticed where his attention was held. Her mouth parted for a second, then her face softened. Jean felt her love wash over him.

"You're missing the sunset, silly." She pushed up from her elbows so she was level with him.

"The sight beside me is far more incredible."

Rebecca laughed lightly and wrapped her arm around his, her hand clutching his bicep as her head lowered to rest against his shoulder. "Whatever makes you happy, dear," she murmured dreamily.

"You do," he replied simply.


End file.
